Even if someone were to write paragraphs of how they have secretly felt about me the past 3 years, expressing their love and citing 100 reasons why they adore me, I would not believe a single word because I have grown up to believe no one will really love me and every compliment is bullshit.
I am very lost in my life and I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I want to be and I have a vague idea of who I was. They are all tangled in my body pulling me in different directions. I feel like I’m walking hopelessly on an endless road to nowhere and I just need a sign to tell me where I’m destined to go.
I’m just a needy piece of shit that needs constant reassurance that I’m wanted
I don’t think I actually miss people. I miss the feelings they light within me, and I miss their kind, deceitful words. I miss being given attention and I miss knowing that my name runs through their mind. But in my head, they’re all really the same person with the same ending. They all leave without a reason and I have to let go of something I desperately cling on to.